CHRihanna

It's hard to find a news source that isn't talking about Chris Brown's assault on Rihanna, and with new details leaking everyday day (it seems) the coverage will no doubt continue to dominate our air waves.

What causes a woman, and in some cases men, to live with the abuse of someone they think they love and that they love back? My guess would be: emotional and financial dependence, poor self esteem and minimal value of self worth. It would appear that Rihanna has everything, but there has to be a void that has allowed her to let her boyfriend control her, and that IS what she has done. It is impossible to control the actions of someone else, but we can choose how we deal with circumstances and situations that arise, right? While listening to The Steve Harvey Morning Show today, I listened to Angel Burt-Murray discuss the many angles, perspectives, and opinions her magazine, Essence, has received about what I heard DeDe McGuire dub, CHRihanna Gate. During the conversation, Mrs. Burt-Murray spoke about violence in teen relationships increasing, and how 80% of abused women return to their abuser. Now, I knew this was a prevalent issue and a taboo, but 80%? That stat struck me to the core. I mean, just imagine the lasting effects that could have on someone, on the children who may witness such violence...look at Chris Brown. He has publicly spoken about the abuse he saw his mother be subject to, and Knew it was wrong, but now here he is.

Now, because this unfortunate incident took place with celebrities at the forefront, there has been widespread attention and countless opinions given about what the parties involved should and/or shouldn't do, but this also gives way to the discussion of a very serious and potentially deadly problem. What Rihanna decides to do with her life regarding her relationship with Chris Brown will no doubt have it's ramifications to her life and career, but what about her young fans. Especially those who may be experiencing similar circumstances, what message does it send?

I hope for her sake, and for the subsequent implications it will have on her young fans, that she is able to obtain the help, strength, and guidance she needs to leave Chris Brown and move on with her life. Then I hope she'll take it a step further and let women know that a man who hits you, chokes you, bites you, smashes your head against a window, and tells you that he is going to kill you, as Chris Brown did to her (among other things) doesn't deserve the least bit of the love you have to offer. However, if she is unable to leave, she could face the similar fate of countess women who are no longer here because the did not leave or those who snapped and are now incarcerated.

As Oprah Winfrey recently stated, as too many women can attest to, if a man hits you once he Will hit you again. According to a statement given to police, this wasn't the first time that Chris Brown had been violent with Rihanna and it's even more sad that this wasn't the first time that she went back.

Talk to the kids in your life. And, I don't want to hear that she provoked him and somhow deserved what she got. I read the reports that she slapped him first or pushed him, but did she send him to the hospital? No. It is never right for a male to strike a female, regardless of age or status. Someone told me about a relative of theirs being assaulted by his girlfriend. He was stabbed in his back while trying to leave. Many would say that he would have been more than justified if he had opted to smack the hell out of her, but he didn't. He left, called police, and moved on with his life. Being a real man or woman is about having control of your actions and being responsible for them.

You can check out http://www.ndvh.org/ for more information about domestic violence, including seeking help. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.